Breakup, Relationship, and Self-Growth

Based on the knowledge that pretty much nothing that I am going through is
totally new, and that pretty much any situation I find myself in has already
been endured by someone on this planet (in the past, right now, or in the
future), I can calm down… but not.

There are partners in our lives. Some of those partners we might end up in
relationships with. Some we may just get to know for a night or two. And some
will shape the way our future looks whether they are part of that future or not.

Some partners are great in the moment. Some partners are a great lesson for the
future. And some are for growth in the here and now.

But it’s not easy. Especially when the growth is in being apart.

I guess, most breakups have this connotation. They are usually for the better
off one or even for both partners. But how often does such a story happen
between partners that want to be together, that cherish each other, that can
imagine a future — and yet they have to be apart for both to experience
something important! The feeling of independence and strength in being alone,
without hanging on, not talking, finding themselves outside of the relationship.

It’s so incredibly easy to settle, to cling, to find all kinds of reasons why
now is perfect. There are also a lot of reasons to look on the other side and
say: “Why am I in this relationship, maybe there is more out there?”.

But what is the truth behind it all? Where is the core of the relationship? What
happens if you are honest with yourself and the other person (or people) in your

It’s a process that you don’t just arrive at. It’s something that has to be done
alone. Without the help of the adjacent person.

Getting clearer, spending time with yourself, journaling, publishing
anonymously, thinking, crying, feeling.

And who knows what will come out of it — it’s all out there — and that’s the
strength of the partners that go away to find themselves, to find a new form of
love and truth.

Photo by Benjamin Davies
on Unsplash