Eye Gazing - Powerful Practice to Build Rapport, Connection, and Elevate Your State

About eight months ago I was researching how to feel more rooted, be more connected, and rest in myself. I was trying to understand how to be ok being by myself, getting in touch with loneliness, and the power that lies within. The interesting thing? By learning how to be alone I actually built a foundation to be less alone, but I am getting ahead of myself.

One of the things I found while I was looking around the internet was a 5-minute video of a woman looking straight into the camera, not moving, not talking, just eye gazing with a genuine smile. I remembered that – a long time ago – I read about something like that. Looking into the eyes of another human gives us connection and warmth – apparently, that’s genetically and historically built. That makes a lot of sense to me. Being alone meant death for the longest time in human history. We had to connect, build trust, work together. And what better way to do that by getting up close and sharing a moment. So I explored this avenue a little more and sat down with that video, took 5 minutes, and eye gazed.

These moments, alone, yet connected with a human face, helped me be calmer. I learned to hold eye contact better. And I also discovered that others react quiet well if you actaully look them their eyes on the streets. The times I have random eye contact now is much higher. I recognize it and that way I feel more connected to the people around me. But it’s not just the outside world, I connected better with myself (there is a whole other topic of eye gazing with a mirror).

I did this practice a few times a week for a couple month, but like many habits, it faded away at some point. Then I was reminded of this wonderful exercise when Göran added it in one of his workshops on the NomadCruise. The experience with another human reminded me of the weekly practice I did a month before. Now in Chiang Mai, Candice and I added the same method to a Interactive Intimacy Workshop we were holding. It’s beautiful to see how people react, what comes up, and how feelings can surface.

To add to this beautiful space of eye gazing possibilities, I’d like to share two videos with you. Created in the mountains of Chiang Mai, Candice and I took a trip into the green to see the city from a different perspective and next to that, stare into a camera for 5 minutes each. Giving you two options to look someone in the eyes and practice.

For me, having videos instead of a real human, meant being able to do this without leaving the house. I didn’t have to ask someone to sit on the other side. I could do it whenever I wanted. I had nobody to judge me. A totally safe space – a space of exploration. So now here is your chance to look us in our eyes:

I hope you have lots of connection in your life. However, if you currently have a rough patch, maybe the eye gazing practice is an idea to try and see what happens. It definitely elevated my state, gave me a warmer heart, and pulled me up to get going.